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Whenever I’m told I have to jump up and seize the day I want to go back to bed and do absolutely nothing for at least a week. Norway’s 2017 Eurovision Entry.

May 7, 2017

norway

Carpe Diem.  Yawn.  Wake me when it’s over.   Five minutes after having heard this song, my earworm is not JOWST but rather Bruno Mars singing “The Lazy Song.”  It’s not that I genuinely don’t want to seize opportunities and accomplish something or other with the remainder of my sorry little life – it’s just that when the medium of popular song is employed to tell me to do “something or other”, I react by asserting a sacred right of indolence.

I’m a bit of a rebel that way.  A bit contrary.  See below…

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2014/07/19/do-we-have-to-take-our-clothes-off-to-have-a-good-time/

The difference here is that at least these Norwegians are trying every trick in the book to give some essentially trite sentiment some kind of superficial “relevance” and urgency.

“Grab the Moment” is a punky-techno sort of a production and the verses function in that indeterminate space between rap and just trying to fit a few too many words into a line on more or less the same note.

Norway, like many of the wealthier nations, has eschewed the quirky narrative video in favour of a performance video that can celebrate the money that can be spent on glitzy live events.

 

The Man in the Iron Mask is put in charge of pressing buttons and hitting things, while a stocky youngish man in a medicalised white smock and a floppy hat takes care of all the singing, a division of responsibilities that reminds me of the Pet Shop Boys.  Nothing else about these lads reminds me of the Pet Shop Boys.  Though who else thinks that the Pet Shop Boys would have been superb at Eurovision?  Meanwhile lasers dart about this big Norwegian stage just as they will dart about the big Ukrainian stage so as to make the overall effect seem a bit more technologically savvy, but there’s really not much here that is especially interesting.

Croatia, on the other hand,  offers two voices for the price of one:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/05/07/a-neat-trick-if-you-can-do-it-croatias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Here’s Ma and Pa in San Marino:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/im-wondering-how-many-nightclubs-there-are-in-san-marino-and-thinking-maybe-just-one-san-marinos-2017-eurovision-entry/

For youthful angst – Ireland:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/too-much-pain-irelands-2017-eurovision-entry/

Ireland’s entry is, I think, more emotionally involving than Denmark’s:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/05/04/some-eurovision-songs-you-really-struggle-to-say-anything-interesting-about-denmarks-2017-eurovision-entry/

Right now I prefer cultural nationalism when it isn’t Hungarian:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/i-just-wish-this-song-was-the-product-of-a-nation-with-a-slightly-less-horrible-government-hungarys-2017-eurovision-entry/

The Netherlands offers something altogether safer:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/05/02/the-three-sisters-go-to-kiev-rather-than-moscow-the-netherlands-2017-eurovision-entry/

Utterly (winningly?) different is Romania:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/this-one-has-the-drunk-vote-in-its-pocket-and-thats-a-critical-demographic-romanias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Less immediately exciting is Malta:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/27/drowning-by-numbers-maltas-2017-eurovision-entry/

So you might prefer Macedonia:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/25/is-she-alone-or-isnt-she-macedonias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Or you can “Climb Every Mountain” with Nathan from Austria:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/20/he-doesnt-actually-run-all-that-much-austrias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Serbia offers a big ballad about rising and falling and falling and rising:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/17/forget-phil-collins-tijana-bogicevic-is-in-too-deep-serbias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Meanwhile, here is Sweden:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/no-theyre-not-a-boy-band-its-just-robin-swedens-2017-eurovision-entry/

Here, meanwhile, is Omar belting it out for Slovenia:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/omars-on-his-way-with-costume-changes-and-interpretative-dance-slovenias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Portugal offers something just a bit more special:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/marlene-dietrich-is-alive-well-young-bearded-and-living-in-portugal-salvador-sobrals-2017-eurovision-entry/

Anyhow, Portugal’s offering is infinitely more palatable than Poland’s:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/am-i-supposed-to-take-you-seryiously-just-because-youre-naked-pompous-nudity-and-polands-2017-eurovision-video/

A man who needs a deal of personal space is this guy from Montenegro:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/do-not-attempt-to-dance-within-a-five-foot-radius-of-this-man-as-the-knot-at-the-end-of-his-pigtail-will-take-your-eye-out-montenegros-eurovision-entry-2017/

Equally sexualised is the Moldovan entry:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/chisinau-thats-what-i-call-music-moldovas-2017-eurovision-entry/

Latvia offers a more techno-trance version of minimalism:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/09/anyone-else-miss-early-90s-trance-music-meet-latvias-2017-eurovision-entry/

Iceland’s entry isn’t really a Eurovision song either:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/08/bring-your-dottir-to-the-slottir-icelands-2017-eurovision-entry/

Georgia’s offering is undoubtedly a bigger if not bolder initiative:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/07/big-dress-big-voice-big-chance-greeces-2017-eurovision-entry/

Frankly, I prefer Finland:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/06/she-knows-where-the-bodies-are-buried-finlands-2017-eurovision-entry/

I’ll be sorely vexed if Finland doesn’t do better than Cyprus

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/05/hovig-loves-hovig-and-i-want-to-slap-him-cyprus-2017-eurovision-entry/

Frankly I’d rather the Czech Republic won – though they won’t…

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/04/my-turn-probably-not-czech-republics-2017-eurovision-entry/

Belgium looks like a better bet:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/04/04/belgiums-2017-eurovision-entry-i-always-get-it-wrong-but-this-could-win-really/

But if it isn’t, maybe it will go to Azerbaijan with this…

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/03/31/azerbaijans-2017-eurovision-entry-keeping-you-awake-at-night-with-skeletons/

Armenia’s Entry is nowhere near as scary:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/03/26/she-once-met-whitney-houston-apparently-armenias-2017-eurovision-entry/

In the meantime here are my thoughts on the Australian entry:

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/oldyoung-isaiah-firebrace-australias-2017-eurovision-entry/

And here’s Albania…

https://conradbrunstrom.wordpress.com/2017/03/15/albanias-2017-eurovision-entry-the-centerpiece-of-a-dystopian-german-expressionist-musical-called-fritzlanglangland/

 

 

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