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No, they’re not a boy band. It’s just Robin. Sweden’s 2017 Eurovision Entry.

April 10, 2017


They dance in a line like a boyband.  But only Robin is “the act” as such.  The others are merely decorative.  Robin wears a tie, while his dancers make do with polo necks and also have to wear awkward white shoes.  Look at them all go…

This is the kind of performance video which gives a fair idea of the sort of performance that might be reasonably replicated in Kiev – although I don’t know if Kiev are providing the fancy segmented and sliding stage that is central to a chunk of the choreography. Interviewed, Robin does not excite, blandly reporting that the most interesting facts about him are that he’s a dad and he likes cars.

Here are some of the lyrics:

I can’t go on
I can’t go on
Gotta keep it together
Don’t get me wrong
Don’t get me wrong
Cause baby you make me better
With just one look you make me shiver
I just wanna take you home
Wanna go OH
Yeah I wanna go OOH
Now girl you make me a believer
I wanna take off all my clothes
wanna go OH
You make me wanna go OH.

Robin might wanna take off all his clothes, but trust me – he won’t.  He’s a dad after all. And besides, he clearly loves his own expensive clothes far too much to want to be parted from them.  Lyrics of this vacancy function only as a means of slipping and sliding in stylish ways. Without the dancing, I’m not sure that this song is very much of anything, and that’s why it seems rather unfair that his fellow dancers aren’t fully listed on the bill, as it were.  And it’s this slight and irritating unfairness that is the overriding impression left me by this entry.

That said, it’s one of the favourites… so what do I know?

Here, meanwhile, is Omar belting it out for Slovenia:

Portugal offers something just a bit more special:

Anyhow, Portugal’s offering is infinitely more palatable than Poland’s:

A man who needs a deal of personal space is this guy from Montenegro:

Equally sexualised is the Moldovan entry:

Latvia offers a more techno-trance version of minimalism:

Iceland’s entry isn’t really a Eurovision song either:

Georgia’s offering is undoubtedly a bigger if not bolder initiative:

Frankly, I prefer Finland:

I’ll be sorely vexed if Finland doesn’t do better than Cyprus

Frankly I’d rather the Czech Republic won – though they won’t…

Belgium looks like a better bet:

But if it isn’t, maybe it will go to Azerbaijan with this…

Armenia’s Entry is nowhere near as scary:

In the meantime here are my thoughts on the Australian entry:

And here’s Albania…


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