The 132nd Anniversary of The Mikado.
Today is the 132nd anniversary of the first performance of The Mikado. As it happens, I’ve lately been wondering (and I’m sure you have too) what would have happened if W.S. Gilbert were still with us today and had been asked to be a guest writer on Game of Thrones.
I think the result would have gone a little something this.
Scene – a blasted heath. Enter Arya Stark, solus, or is that sola?
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found….
I’ve got a little list – I’ve got a little list,
Of Westeros offenders who might well be underground
(The Mountain and the Hound! The Mountain and the Hound!),
And who never would be missed – who never would be missed!
There’s that nasty Joff Baratheon
And also Ilyn Payne.
(I don’t think they’d be missed… I’m sure they won’t be missed.)
For decapitating daddy when they really should desist…
(Those rotters won’t be missed – I’m sure they won’t be missed.)
And let’s not forget Queen Cersei with her supercilious smile
And Polliver and Raff the Sweetling grinning all the while
And Ser Meryn Trant killed Sirio for daring to resist!
(So I don’t think they’d be missed. I’m sure they won’t be missed.)
Then there’s Amory Loch and Chiswyck, Dunsen, Tickler and the Weese,
Let’s stab them with my Needle lest their villainy increase –
Other Boltons, Freys, and Lannisters could do with sweet release
So they’re on a growing list
And I don’t think they’d be missed.
As I travel through this wicked world my list begins to swell
With maniacs and murderers too numerous to tell..
Infanticidal tyranny conducted in the nude –
The people I am forced to meet are petulant and rude!
And I’m running out of paper for the folks I must include.
I think you get the gist – they’re going on the list…
And don’t glare as if I’m crazy or I’ll put you on the list
And you’ll probably not be missed. I’m sure you won’t be missed.