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Denmark’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

May 7, 2016


“Lighthouse X” are  Soldiers of Love.  Nothing very contentious looking here.  Here are three smiley boys who are almost as good looking as they think they are, singing about love.  Not, seemingly, the love between young persons, a love that seeks physical expression, but rather “Love” in the abstract.  “Love” as kind of a good thing.  The “participant profile” confirms this suspicion.  These boys are on a mission.  Evidently their leader, Søren, has a much sunnier outlook on life than the most famous Dane of that name.

The video they offer is a performance video – a pretty good indication of what we’re likely to see on semi-final night.  But I’ve thought of a better video – the video they should have shot, these “Soldiers of Love”.

Let’s go back 1100 or 1200  years.  The camera swoops down on a bleak and battered Northumbrian coastline and a ruined village.  A few survivors of the last raid creep out of their blackened huts to bury their dead and hold their children close.  A keen sighted boy raises his finger towards to ocean and gasps in horror.  For there, through the distant clouds they see again the dreaded silhouette of a dragon prow – the profile that has for generations communicated rapine and destruction to every Northumbrian peasant.


With nowhere to run, the entire pathetic community grabs their few valuables and processes to the beach singing a dirge like hymn.  There they fall to their knees and implore the Almighty to secure them at least a quick death.

At last the longboat looms in front of them, its keel hits the sand.  The villagers shut their eyes and prepare for the very very worst.

But no!  From the ship leap no hairy psychopaths – no bloodthirsty oaths, no clash of sharpened axe against shield.  Instead, three fresh faced youths jump onto the beach (possibly preceded by a beachball).  Søren, Johannes and Martin have presents for every one – food and drink for the elders and lego for the children.  Then everyone – Dane and Northumbrian alike, joins hands in song.  Songs of love and reconciliation.

For these – are “Soldiers of Love” – Denmark’s new export.  A whole new approach.

Lighthouse X, when interviewed, can appear a bit cloying and po faced in their determination to bring Love and Peace to the world.  But everyone else has had a try – maybe we should give them a go.

No more Fear and Trembling from Søren.  Just straightforward, hummable Love.


Bulgaria could learn a lot about positive thinking from Søren.

If you’re keen on Balkan Country and Western Music, then you’ll like Slovenia’s entry…

Australia, bizarrely, are back…

If, in the meantime,  you want to watch an implausible love story involving a sex worker from Vilnius – try Lithuania’s entry…

Here, by the way – is Macedonia’s offering…

Meanwhile, Ireland’s entry – Nicky Byrne out of Westlife – is sort of all growed up.

Here’s Serbia, in case you were wondering…

Then again there’s Ivan from Belarus, who may or may not be dancing naked with wolves…

In the meantime, here is Israel:

You might prefer this GameofThronesy offering from Switzerland

Here, on the other hand, is Poland.

And here’s cheery Latvia,

Someone else who doesn’t look cross at all is Malta’s representative  –

Meanwhile, I found Bosnia and Herzegovina somewhat intriguing this year – see below…

More interesting than Montenegro, anyhow

Far, far more conventional is Azerbaijan

More chillingly, here is Estonia

But here, by way of some (but not much) relief is Cyprus

On a lighter note, see the Czech Republic’s offering…

And Russia…

San Marino – folks…

Meanwhile, here’s the Netherlands…

And Croatia

And Hungary

And Moldova

And Greece

Greece’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

And Finland

Finland’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

Here’s Austria by the way…

Austria’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

Here’s Armenia

Armenia’s 2016 Eurovision Entry



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