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Lithuania’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

May 3, 2016


The name “Donny Montell”…. that’s not a real name now is it?  His nicer, realer, more Lithuanian name is Donatas Montvydas.  Why he’s abandoned this interesting monicker in favour of a name that would suit a tenth-rate Vegas Crooner who occasionally gets to be the warm up act for Barry Manilow is beyond me.

The video is perplexing and I’m not sure it’s been approved by the Lithuanian Tourist Board.  Did you know that Vilnius has a red light district?  A seedy underbelly?


Donatas wanders through the mean streets of Vilnius late at night looking for all the world like a rustic, a dupe, a mark, breathing in the Big City for the first time in his short life.  And he sees a woman wearing very little except for too much make up leaning in a doorway.  The woman is a prostitute.  I mean, I’m not judging.  And I have no personal experience of prostitutes whatsoever.  But unless every movie, every TV documentary, every magazine, every newspaper, every book and that trip we took to Amsterdam years ago have conspired together to lie to me – that woman is a prostitute.

Donatas doesn’t seem to recognise her as a pro though.  Donatas has lived a very sheltered life.  In the same way that none of the supposedly telepathic Jedi in the Star Wars prequels notice that there’s anything sinister about Senator Palpatine, Donatas is convinced that he’s found true love waiting for him, leaning in a doorway alone wearing too much make up around midnight in Vilnius’ dodgiest neighbourhood.

All of this is rather academic, given that Donatas’ actual performance is unlikely to feature any reference to prostitution, but it does puzzle me.   The video shows Donatas and his new “girlfriend” cavorting about in the streets of Vilnius – climbing on statues and waving sparklers and laughing innocently until the sun comes up.  Oh you kids!  Either Donatas has some kind of William Gladstone mission to reclaim prostitutes, or else this particular sex worker has abandoned her profession, because a few hours dancing with Donatas is preferable to years of steady employment, or else Donatas has yet to realise that sex workers tend to charge clients by the hour (or less) and it’s up to the client to fill the time in any way they see fit.

If she suddenly presents a long bill for the night’s companionship, then Donatas will have a sad and sombre trip home.  He won’t be coming back to Vilnius again in a hurry.

Here, by the way – is Macedonia’s offering…

Meanwhile, Ireland’s entry – Nicky Byrne out of Westlife – is sort of all growed up.

Here’s Serbia, in case you were wondering…

Then again there’s Ivan from Belarus, who may or may not be dancing naked with wolves…

In the meantime, here is Israel:

You might prefer this GameofThronesy offering from Switzerland

Here, on the other hand, is Poland.

And here’s cheery Latvia,

Someone else who doesn’t look cross at all is Malta’s representative  –

Meanwhile, I found Bosnia and Herzegovina somewhat intriguing this year – see below…

More interesting than Montenegro, anyhow

Far, far more conventional is Azerbaijan

More chillingly, here is Estonia

But here, by way of some (but not much) relief is Cyprus

On a lighter note, see the Czech Republic’s offering…

And Russia…

San Marino – folks…

Meanwhile, here’s the Netherlands…

And Croatia

And Hungary

And Moldova

And Greece

Greece’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

And Finland

Finland’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

Here’s Austria by the way…

Austria’s 2016 Eurovision Entry

Here’s Armenia

Armenia’s 2016 Eurovision Entry


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