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James Boswell’s New Year Resolutions. Complete

December 31, 2015
  • youngboswell
    “I resolve to be a bit less of an arse next year” James Boswell, Dec. 31, 1763.
    “I resolve to dial back my being an arse level back to its 1763 setting.” James Boswell, 31 Dec. 1764.
    “I resolve that ‘that arse’ no longer be the inevitable prefix to the name of James Boswell.” James Boswell, 31 Dec.1765.
    “I resolve to upgrade my status from ‘arse’ to ‘plonker'”. James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1766.
    “I resolve to become as amusing an arse as Samuel Foote”. James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1767.
    “I resolve to acknowledge that I will never be as funny an arse as Samuel Foote” James Boswell, Dec. 31 1768.
    “To honour my new bride Margaret, I resolve to reduce my being an arse in 1770” James Boswell. Dec. 31. 1769.
    “I resolve to be a bit less of an arse in FRONT of my wife.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1770.
    “I resolve to be less of an arse in London than I tend to be in Edinburgh.” James Boswell, Dec. 31 1771.
    “Next summer, I resolve to tour the Hebrides with Johnson & there learn to be less of an arse.” J. Boswell, Dec. 31 1772.
    “I resolve to atone for being such an arse when I was in the Hebrides”. James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1773.
    “Resolve to try to find someone who is actually more of an arse than I am.” James Boswell, Dec. 31, 1774.
    “My resolution to be less of an arse is as sound as the loyalty of our American colonists.” J. Boswell, Dec, 31 1775.
    “I resolve to try to remember that I’m about to be an arse just before I am one.” James Boswell, Dec. 31 1776.
    “I resolve to remember that “Boswell the Arse” is for the tavern. Not the courtroom.” James Boswell, Dec.31 1777.
    “James Jn, born to us this year. Resolve to be a true father to him, And not an arse.” James Boswell, Dec. 31, 1778.
    “I will be forty next year. I resolve that “not being an arse” begins at forty.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1779.
    “Pious Maxim for 1781 – “He who suffers more pain than pleasure from promiscuity is an arse”. J Boswell, Dec. 31. 1780.
    “Resolve to follow advice of Justice. Harbottle and stop writing everything down. Arsewise.” J. Boswell, 31 Dec. 1781
    “Inspired by Johnson’s Lives of the Poets to be less of an arse in the coming year.” James Boswell, Dec. 31, 1782.
    “Resolve that just another year in the company of S. Johnson will cure me of being an arse.” J. Boswell, Dec. 31. 1783.
    “Let the example of my late lamented friend Johnson stiffen my resolve to eschew arsery.” James Boswell, Dec. 31 1784.
    “I resolve to write the life of Dr Samuel Johnson. And be less of an arse, obviously.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1785.
    “Resolve to at least fix upon being either a drunken arse or a lecherous arse.” James Boswell, Dec. 31 1786.
    “Resolve to warn others should I receive timely intimations of my own arsery.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1787.
    “Ah, Meg my strength and stay by your patient example I resolve 1789 be year of the ‘not arse'” J. Boswell Dec. 31 1788.
    “I resolve to obey my late wife’s dying injunction – ‘Jemmy – don’t be an arse.'” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1789.
    “It suddenly occurs to me to resolve to be less of an arse for the New Year.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1790.
    “My Life of Johnson is making a stir & I shall stir myself to abjure the arse being” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1791.
    “I may turn methodist. Apparently, Amazing Grace might save an Arse like Me.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1792.
    “Wenching, drinking, and being an arse must cease. This year. More than any other year.” James Boswell, Dec.31 1793.
    “Just give me one more year. One more year and my being an arse will be conquered.” James Boswell, Dec. 31. 1794
  • R.I.P. James Boswell  1740-1795.  Lawyer. Diarist.  Biographer.  Arse.

 

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