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Marco Rubio pitches “FlashDance II” – a Welder’s Dream Come True.

November 11, 2015

flashdance

“So, Senator Rubio, tell me about your screenplay?”

“Well we all loved Flashdance, didn’t we?  Well here’s the sequel.  Pittsburgh again.  Prolonged economic depression caused by too many philosophers.  The local philosophy plant is closing down and half the town is out of work.  There’s no future for Pittsburgh philosophy.  But our plucky young heroine never gives up.  All day long she sweats and toils in the city’s last remaining university.  But at night she’s devoted to her true love – welding.  At night she becomes one with fire and steel.  The rhythm of the steel consumes her and the dream of a fully fledged welding apprenticeship is all she can think about while she’s struggling to get through a hard day’s philosophy.”

“I see.  Tell me, Senator, if you don’t mind my asking – what do you think ‘philosophy’ actually is?”

“Well, I’m a bit hazy about that if I’m honest.  I’m assuming that philosophy is that thing with the tights and the legwarmers and someone belting out “what a feeling” in the background somewhere.”

“And the tee shirt with the great big hole in it?”

“Definitely the tee shirt with the great big hole in it.  A bunch of under-dressed prancing about.  But whatever it is, there’s too much of it.  This kind of ‘philosophy’ has to be getting in the way of welding.  That said – integral plot considerations will demand a fair amount of ‘philosophy’ being shown in the movie.”

“Senator Rubio – this is, without a doubt, the dumbest concept for a film we’ve ever been pitched.”

“So it will definitely happen then?”

“Definitely.”

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