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Lest we forget… the tragic anniversary of Margaret Thatcher’s birth…

October 13, 2015

The Times

October 13th 1925


It is with sincere regret that we must announce the untimely birth of Margaret Hilda Roberts early this morning in her home town of Grantham.


Probably with the assistance of Nicholas Parson’s dad.  As Britain learned of this most sombre and momentous of events, a sense of profound grief has afflicted every part of these islands. Black armbands are ubiquitous accessories among males while many females have taken to wearing heavy veils, many of which have not been worn since Queen Victoria’s funeral. Among the less restrained, public displays of weeping are not uncommon, particularly in the North of England and other industrial regions.

The prime minister, Mr Baldwin is due to make a statement in the House of Commons later today, although he has already spoken informally to journalists, as has the leader of the opposition, Mr Macdonald. Mr Baldwin has communicated his sincere and heartfelt apologies to the 1980s on behalf of the Conservative and Unionist party. “I know I’m a Tory and all, and I ought to be pleased about my mob staying in power for so long… but there are limits… I don’t think she’s going to help my cosy fireside chat version of Toryism one bit”. A visibly emotional Ramsay Macdonald is said to have remarked “I know I’m going to betray the whole Labour Movement in just six years time by becoming titular leader of a Tory dominated national government, but right now, at this point in my life, I can only say I’m gutted.”


A petition with three million signatures delivered to parliament within hours of the birth. Citizens describing themselves as representatives of The Poor, The Marginalised, The Oppressed and Anyone With An Atom Of Compassion And Basic Human Decency have urged that taxpayers money not be spent on this christening. A spokeswoman declared “it’s all very well to say that Christenings are not occasions to dwell on the horrific actions committed in the future by the recently born, but when we consider the divisive and destructive policies that Margaret Roberts will one day enact, we urge the government to disassociate itself from any public funding of events associated with this nativity.”



Mr Walter Citrine, acting General Secretary of the TUC, appointed just three days ago, appeared visibly shaken by the news. In a statement, he observed “we in the trade union movement will need time to absorb these disturbing tiding.  This event will affect all workers, across every occupational category.  My first thoughts will be to prepare for a special kind of industrial action that will reflect all those likely to be affected by today’s grievous tidings.  A ‘General’ Strike” if you like.  We must try and get that up and running by next year.”


The Argentine ambassador delivered a letter of protest to Downing Street today from his Government, upon learning the news. He stated that his government has expressed some anxiety that by the early 1980s, a crazed fascistic junta may wish to distract its population from its domestic troubles with a reckless military adventure. He further suggested that Argentina may find itself in a similar position.

There has, however, been some international support for today’s development. Nervous adolescent Ronald “Dutch” Reagan of Dixon Illinois, whose ambitions include funding radical Islamicists and facilitating the grisly murder of Nicaraguan civilians, declared himself to be “strangely aroused” by the news from Grantham.



The Archbishop of Canterbury, The Right Reverend Randall Davison has addressed an anxious nation in a radio broadcast recorded within an hour of the tragedy.

“This dreadful event, coming as it does, just seven years after the horrors of the Great War and the Spanish Influenza epidemic, represents a severe challenge to the simple faith of ordinary believers. Many will be inclined to ask “what kind of loving God could permit such things to happen?” To many, it may appear a kind of cosmic injustice that the new born Margaret Roberts is destined to live such a long and destructive life. Our comfort must be that within the tragedy of birth is secreted the miracle of death.”

His Grace went on to anticipate that while this generation bows its collective head in grief, he could foresee “a right old knees up for our great grandchildren in eighty or ninety years time.”  He confessed “the future difficulty of showing empathy towards the enemy of empathy, to show compassion in death to one for whom compassion towards declared enemies was anathema. Are we to love one’s enemy when such love would be a kind of mocking insult to the sincere beliefs of an enemy who so resists the concept of love?  What does it mean to show love for one’s enemy when one’s enemy is defined by an inability to admit the possibility of empathy with someone who disagrees with them?  This kind of theology is, quite frankly, beyond me and in all honesty I don’t envy whoever happens to be sitting in my chair in the second decade of the twenty first century.”

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  1. NMac permalink

    Great piece.

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