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Cyprus’ 2015 Eurovision Entry

May 18, 2015


Meet John Karayiannis.  He’s only 20.

Looking at him, you may well ponder that the “One Thing I Should Have Done”, involves “Should Have Gone To Specsavers” – or at least – “Should Have Spent A Lot Longer Browsing Before I Left The Store”.

But the geeky glasses are all part of the point.  He reminds me of someone – perhaps the young Peter Sellers.  Whoever he’s supposed to remind us of, the Cypriots have staked a great deal on everyone in Europe falling in love with him.

Because the video is just a close up of him singing.  Very close up.  If you don’t like this boy, then you won’t vote for the song – if you do like him then you will.  It’s a very bold and specialised charm offensive.

He certainly looks like your daughter’s least threatening boyfriend.  Or your son’s most polite boyfriend.  Or if you’re the boy or girl who nervous about inviting a potential life partner to dine with the parents – then this is the guy who looks as though he will reassure and prove unfailingly charming to the oldsters around the dining table.

The least convincing thing about this performance is the kind of regret that he’s singing about.  Looking into those big glasses, you can’t believe that he’s been guilty of the kind of criminal emotional negligence he keeps going on about.

We’re just told (towards the end, after he’s already charmed us), that he “should have been there for you” – a bit of jargon that doesn’t really reveal anything.  “In your hour of need” John Karayiannis was apparently deficient.

Of course, being able to apologize passionately but vaguely is a very great gift.  It saved Albert Speer’s life.

John Karayiannis strikes me as the kind of boyfriend/son in law who would guilt easily.  And he looks grateful as well. Grateful for forgiveness and grateful to be given a second chance. Very grateful indeed.

The real message of this performance is, I believe, Vote Cyprus and John Karayiannis will come round and make you breakfast in bed.  For ever.

Even Turkey might have voted for that.  OR WOULD THEY?!

(I love political machinations.  It’s always a shame when Turkey aren’t playing.)

Please feel free in the meantime to browse from the selection below.

Azerbaijan’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Serbia’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Russia’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Romania’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Netherlands’ 2015 Eurovision Entry

Moldova’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Macedonia’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Hungary’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Georgia’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

Greece’s Eurovision Entry

Finland’s Eurovision Entry

Estonia’s Eurovision Entry

Denmark’s Eurovision Entry

Belgium’s Eurovision Entry

Belarus Eurovision Entry

Armenia’s Eurovision Entry

Albania’s Eurovision Entry

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