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Finland’s 2015 Eurovision Entry

May 14, 2015


Do not adjust your sets.  Yes.  This is really happening.  You are seeing what you are seeing.   Your Eurovision party drink has not been spiked with some powerful hallucinogen.  They are real.  Because some years ago, Lordi kicked down the door, and now Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) are swaggering through.

And here they are…

If there is any point to Eurovision other than as a social media game – the opportunity to score some snarky retweets (and in all honesty, I think that is 97.8% of the whole point of Eurovision), then it is Finland.  When Finland decides to “think out of the box” – they really run with it.

Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) make Lordi look like a safe bet.  (Lordi, you will remember, were those Heavy-Metal Klingon-ish Troll Monsters who stoll our hearts a few years ago).  Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) represents not only thinking outside the box, but the closure and demolition of all Finnish box factories, the legal prohibition of future box manufacture and a raft of minor and municipal legislation outlawing the use of the word “box” in casual Finnish conversation.

Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) are four middle aged men with intellectual disabilities making very loud and raspy punk noises.

They are loving every minute of what they do.  Now, yet again (see Denmark) the hardened cynic in me (who has been getting a bit flabby and unresponsive of late) would say that we should hate this entry – would say that Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) is an exploitative exercise in misplaced sympathy.  Hardened Cynical Conrad would say that Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) should be subjected to the steely glare of proper musicological dissection and that those voting for this are suffering from some form of unconscious guilt and political naivity.

Hardened Cynical Conrad isn’t in right now. Hardened Cynical Conrad is currently nailed down in the kind of box that is now banned in Finland.

Like all the best punk rock, Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) is driven by a transcendent aesthetic of Higher Love.   Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN) may not be the “best punk rock” (according to any available pre-existing definition), but it is like it.  Feel it.  Feel the love.

Thank you Finland.  Thank you for  Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (PKN).  Thank you for Lordi.  Thank you for Leningrad Cowboys Go America.  Perhaps these are all products of a latitude where if you go out for a night’s drinking in October then you’re gone till March, but these things needed to be imagined and I’m glad they all exist.


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